I have 27 rolls of toilet paper. Actually, 27 and one third rolls if you include the one currently in use in my bathroom. I have approximately 750 Bandaides, 9 bottles of Zout stain remover and enough Woolite to wash 68 loads of laundry. I think I have enough mouthwash and soap to last until the day I die. Seriously. I don’t think I’ll ever have to buy any more of either as long as I live.
When I looked in my refrigerator this morning I panicked; there were only 7 pieces of Laughing Cow Light left in the little container. I had to have more. Even though I only eat about 2 pieces a week.
I blame Costco. Now, you may think I just went to the meglo-buy mart on the outskirts of town, but it’s been over 3 months since I’ve gone. That was the trip where I picked up the 3 giant bottles of mouthwash (they were on sale!) and picked up the 3 giant bottles of Dove Body Wash (I had a coupon!) that tipped me over into the insane pool of people who never have to buy soap again as long as they live. There was no choice to buy less of the sale items, all three giant bottles were shrink-wrapped together. Buy enough for the rest of your life or miss the sale. And heaven forfend an American miss a sale.
I have taken to humming the Megalo-Mart Theme from King of the Hill, “At Meg-a-lo-Mart, you’re shopping for the rest of your life!” My membership expires next month, and maybe I’ll just let it expire.
After one more trip….I’m down to my last 3 tubes of Roc Retinol Deep Wrinkle Night Treatment.